im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can feel your judgement through the phone
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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