I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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