I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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