420 ftw
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
