Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
