Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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