Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
