Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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