I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
not ubering you a puppy
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
