Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
