Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
