I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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