wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
