I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
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So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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