then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
