they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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