i need an iv and a liver transplant
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize