someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
