My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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