I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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