what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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