dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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