he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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