508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
