We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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