So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
how does that bad decision feel?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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