I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize