Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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