I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
