Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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