just tell him i said nine months
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
