RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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