Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
