I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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