Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize