Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
