I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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