I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
