I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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