I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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