My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
