I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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