Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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