dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize