i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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