I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
