Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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