Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
