One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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