I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
