you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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