hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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