You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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