I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize