It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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