Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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