I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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