Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize