i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
