you mean i was at the winter classic?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
