Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
