I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
